Crawl Spaces and Synthwave


So much is going on lately, most of which is very good. There is a setback with my new house. I’m still forging ahead, but it will take longer before I can move in. The house has a crawl space and me and my family have noticed a damp smell any time we are in the house. First, we thought it might be wet ceiling tiles. Those have been tossed, yet the smell remains. The floor of the house is also uneven. As you walk around the house, you can feel it sloping in certain places. The bathroom floor is the worst. We finally figured out why about a week ago.

Now, I was planning on replacing a lot of the floors already. There is this nasty old linoleum in the kitchen and bathroom that has to go. I didn’t think the floorboards and joists would have to be ripped up as well. I had a foundation expert come out to check the crawl space. What he found was not good. First of all, the crawl space is not even two feet high, so the guy could barely get in there. We estimate the house was built in the 1930s, when there were no housing codes. He said it’s a mess under there. There’s a lot of mold and rotten floorboards. The bathroom floor is held up by two cinder blocks. Ghetto much? Luckily, he said the foundation was solid. Otherwise, I would have said goodbye to this house. But, the guy said it could cost as much as $25,000 to fix everything. That is worst case scenario and I’m getting more estimates on the job, don’t worry. The news was disappointing, though. I questioned whether it was worth it to keep the house. Well, I do think it’s worth it. Any renovations I do will just increase the value of the house and all homes are money pits, so fuck it! I’ll bite the bullet for the moment. I may end up sitting on a floor with no furniture (because furniture ain’t cheap), but it will be a safe and clean floor. lol

The floor mess has halted work on the ceilings. There’s no sense in putting up new drywall or a modern drop ceiling before the floor is made even. Clearly, I can’t occupy the house with no floor. So, I’ve been focusing on the landscaping while all that is getting worked out. Some dead (and ugly) trees and bushes are going to be removed this week and that will liven things up. I’ve yet to try out the riding lawnmower, but my dad cut the grass on the property for the first time recently. I’m also itching to plant some pretty stuff in front of the house.

My day job and the magazine have kept me quite busy. I love having purpose. I’m helping people again and although it’s draining, the mental health clinic is where I’m meant to be. I need structure and I have regained that. I hate admitting that I’m lazy, but I really am. However, I don’t half ass anything, especially professionally. When I’m on, I’m on completely. I may crash and burn once finished, but that’s my secret. haha

I did make a Facebook Like page and an Instagram. I’ve already posted some tidbits and photos, so follow me if you feel like it. :) I seem to be moving away from Tumblr for some reason. I’m just not as interested in it as I used to be. And Youtube…well, I’ll come back eventually. I have big plans in this arena that I just have to make reality. My plans are scary and it could very well fail, but I must try. I desperately need a quiet recording (notice how I didn’t say filming ;)) space first!

As usual, I’ll conclude with a new music discovery. Jack Strify is an androgynous synthwave artist whose main inspirations include Yazoo and Depeche Mode. Were we switched at birth? I think yes. I will be writing about him in the future. Stay tuned.


Simon O. Latex Model Competition!


Asylum Attendant:

Hey guys,

Please vote for my friend Arathin! I’m interviewing her and featuring her lovely photos in the Summer issue of Carpe Nocturne. She is super talented and super sweet. Give her a hand. :)

Originally posted on Creative Dreamlands of Arathin:

Hey everyone!

I don’t normally do this but I’d like to ask for your help. You see, I’m part of the latex model competition hosted by designer Simon O. and there’s a chance of winning some really lovely latex, including a custom made catsuit!
But to be able to win something I have to be in the Top 12 when voting ends June 4th.

So pleasepleaseplease, click this link and give me your vote:

You can vote once a day and it would really mean a lot to me :) <3


View original

Grey Hair, Sanctuary of the Strange and Social Media


I don’t know if I’ve ever posted my age here. It’s only necessary now because of what I want to talk about. I’m only 25 and I have a considerable amount of grey hair! I don’t think that’s normal at my age. My dad’s hair went snow white early as well and when I was in kindergarten, all the other kids thought he was my grandpa. So, it must be genetic. I’ve been dying my hair black for years (I’m a natural brunette), but I’ve taken a break now for a little less than a year. I think I may have had an allergic reaction to the dye the last time I did it and I developed a dandruff problem that traumatized me. Black hair and dandruff…need I say more. Plus, I’m a bit obsessed with hygiene, so I was so grossed out. Anyway, I got the dandruff issue under control and just let my natural hair color grow back out. But, numerous people have noticed how many grey hairs I have and it’s embarrassing. I got my hair cut yesterday and the rude stylist commented on it. People were also saying that I should get my hair cut short, but they can suck it. I love having long hair.

I suppose it’s time to dye my hair again. Though I’m thinking of a dark purple or a midnight blue color instead of black. What do you guys think? I’ll have to make sure this is okay at my place of employment as well. lol

Also, the Spring issue of Carpe Nocturne is out now! It’s Sci-fi themed and there are a ton of new columns about zombies and health. We’re really expanding. For this one, I got to write a whopping 7 articles! I interviewed the iconic 80s Goth band The Danse Society, wrote features on synthpop artist Lights and cosplayer Yaya Han, and reviewed the Syfy show Face Off as well as albums from NOIR, Avarice in Audio and Junksista. The asylum is growing. You can buy a digital or a physical copy at or on the Barnes & Noble website.

Spring 2015 Cover

The Danse Society’s “Sound of Silence” cover above is sooo good. For the Summer Steampunk issue, I’m very excited to premiere my very own LGBTQ column entitled Sanctuary of the Strange (Where Diversity is the Norm)! I’ll be discussing things like gender, androgyny and sexual orientation and how they affect members of the Goth community. LGBTQ awareness is very near and dear to my heart and I’m honored to be the voice of my community for the magazine. I also just finished coming up with questions for a sultry interview with burlesque star Veronica Varlow and will be writing a feature on the comedic Goth musician Voltaire. Good things to come! :)

The last thing I want to talk about is social media. Some of you know how resistant I have been to the entire idea of it. However, I’ve been wanting to share more tidbits about my life that blogging just isn’t meant for. Therefore, I’m going to make a Facebook Artist page and an Instagram. I feel like it’s a good way to meld my alter ego with my personal life and share cool things as they happen. I’ll post the links when the pages are ready.

That’s all for now. I’ll end with a new song from pop rocker Jordan Sweeto. His music is very much something my teenage self would be into. Or my adult self. Got a problem with it? ;)




Loud music and NASCAR races,

Hoodies and BBQ.

Cats named after rock stars

And eyes the deepest shade of blue.

You rode a riding lawnmower to our house

You borrowed all of our tools.

Sometimes you weren’t all there,

With your fast cars, you were never one to follow rules.

You needed a friend

To go to the movies with.

But, people were your biggest fear,

So you spent time with a fifth.

They judged your failures and minimized your successes

You could do no right.

You went to another world

In which day might as well have been the dead of night.

Could we have saved you?

You stayed as long as you could stand for us.

I wish I would have been more understanding,

Pummeling your anxieties to dust.

Everyone said I looked like you

And we were so similar.

With the strength you left behind,

I’ll carry on into the future.

Your memory is all around.

From the shelves you built me

To the house you left me,

You’ll always be our Tony.



About a month ago, the lead singer of 80’s new wave band Visage, Steve Strange, tragically passed away from a heart attack. He played a major role in the New Romantic music and fashion movement and embraced androgyny, makeup and eclectic clothes. Steve was certainly a visionary and I wanted to pay tribute to him and his band Visage with this post.

Visage are best known for their synthpop hit “Fade to Grey”, released in 1980. The somber dance tune features the voice of a woman speaking in French and Steve singing about what sounds like death. The spoken French is actually the same words sung in English. The visuals in the music video are eerie and display Steve’s gender bending ways. He was definitely one of a kind.

Steve turns into Little Lord Fauntleroy in the video for my favorite Visage song, “Mind of a Toy”. The song tells the story of an old toy that’s no longer loved and is essentially thrown away. The creepy music video was actually banned because it was deemed too scary for children. There’s a disturbing rocking horse, a life-like marionette and a dollhouse fire. The sound of a music box in the outro is fitting. Steve’s aristocratic outfit and quiff hairstyle made him a fashion icon. The concept of personifying a toy is also very intriguing. Good stuff, indeed.


I only discovered Visage this past summer, but Steve captivated me right off the bat. I love a smart song and a dark visual. Rest in peace, Steve. Your colorful influence will never fade to grey.

Ruffles, Lace and Bows


2015-03-01 01.53.51

It’s been over a year since my last photo shoot. I’ve had an itch to do one for a bit, but I wanted to wait until I had a really awesome clothing item to showcase. I just received the ruffle lace shirt above from Rivithead and I knew it was just what I needed. It’s very elegant, Victorianesque and I sort of feel like a vampire in it.

2015-03-01 01.36.402015-03-01 01.48.07

The sleeves are super long and wide at the double ruffled ends. Not very practical, but has that ever stopped me before? I shovel snow in Demonia platform boots…it’s about the look. The chest of the shirt is also heavily ruffled.

2015-03-01 01.30.22

2015-03-01 01.47.34

I also got a couple new lipsticks from Manic Panic which I had to test out. Cobweb is the frosty pink color. It’s actually opalescent white in the tube, but it changes colors depending on your natural lip color. The other color is Hells Bells, a shimmery, dark grayish blue color. I like them both and they feel really good on the lips. And then there is my stripey skull hair bow from Hot Topic. I must have a bow with every outfit. I didn’t feel like jewelry was necessary since the shirt is so bold.

2015-03-01 01.32.21

2015-03-01 01.31.11

And that’s all for my mini photo shoot. It’s a classier look for a guy like me that loves fishnet and sparkly rings. :P I still love getting dolled up every so often. I’ll end with two songs. The first is from the alternative pop duo No Frills Twins, an Australian pair of sisters from the same town as Iggy Azalea with the most unique fashion sense I think I’ve ever seen. I must see the inside of their closet. Holy eyebrows!

The second song is “Biscuit” from pop soul singer and Arkansas native Ivy Levan. She’s like a demented Christina Aguilera with humor and some darkness thrown in. Butter my butt and call me a biscuit. ;) This girl’s gonna be huge.

New Cat and New House


I love Lights. I got to rediscover her through writing a feature on her for the magazine. She’s cute with an airy voice and a new wave vibe I can’t get enough of. Listen to those synths!

This has been a busy month. Between work, writing lots of articles for the magazine and some personal stuff going on, time is really flying by. I like keeping busy, though.

Writing about stuff like cosplay and Sci-fi makeup for the magazine is definitely new to me, but it’s cool to learn and jump out of my comfort zone. I kinda like taking something unknown, researching it and adding my flavor to it in writing. I understand why cosplay is so beloved now, for example. Cosplayers put so much effort into making their costumes. The process is really admirable.

My personal life is rapidly changing. About a month ago, my uncle passed away very tragically and unexpectedly. He had lived with my family many times over the course of my life and he was more than just an uncle to me. He suffered from a prescription pill addiction and a lot of mental health issues. He had the roughest life I’ve ever heard of, most of which was not his fault at all. He was doing so much better, that’s why his death is so shocking. I can’t talk about how he died because it’s too painful and sad. Maybe one day.

Anyway, he left behind a house and a cat. At first, my family didn’t know if we could take in the cat. We already have a cat, which was formerly this same uncle’s before he went to prison. Ultimately, we decided to take her in. I’m really glad, because she’s already brought us a lot of joy. Her name is Maggie May (like the song) and she’s a cute little thing. She’s a total lap cat, which we’ve never had before. We hope she’ll get along with Ozzy (detect the theme…my uncle loved rock music), our other fat white cat. At least they’re not fighting. Not friends yet either.



Maggie and Ozzy

Maggie and Ozzy are friends…

We’re also keeping the house. It’s actually going to be my first home of my own. I’m buying it from my mom. I’m so excited. It’s a two bedroom with a lot of character. It needs some work, but that’s the fun part. I can’t wait to start decorating. This cold ass Winter needs to go away so I can move in. I love living with my parents and siblings, but I can’t be myself here. I’m not growing and I crave some freedom. I want more from life and I’m ready to make it happen.

Something else has been on my mind. The other day a girl at work said I was the least likely person she’d ever expect to be Goth. I was like, damn! Did I really change that much? I work in an office, so I can’t go all out with my fashion, but I hadn’t realized how conservative I had become. I don’t want to lose myself in the work world as I get older. I am Goth and I want people to see that side of me. The spikes and black hair dye are gone, but I’m still dark and strange. I’ll have to start making a conscious effort to keep some gothy elements in my everyday dress.

I’ll leave you with a disco pop song from Eden xo. California pop at its finest.