Melancholy

This is my new video in which I get very real with you guys. It’s important to me to share my ups as well as my downs. I don’t know if I’ve discussed my struggle with my weight here before, but my self-esteem has really been affected by it. I feel ugly in everything I wear and wearing form-fitting clothes is out of the question. I also talk about my social anxiety in the video. While it’s not a fun and exciting video, I hope you all get to know me a bit better. I’m vulnerable at times. I am not a robot.

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8 thoughts on “Melancholy

  1. Sending virtual hugs your way. I’m glad you were able to put your feelings out there, that is definitely a hard thing to do, and I commend you on that. I also understand what you’re feeling and hope you find happiness soon. Everyone deserves to be happy, even the spooky goth kids. c;
    I struggle with my weight as well and understand how hard that is as well. I used to be so little (not a happy time) until I was gave depression medicine that made me gain weight whether I wanted to or not. I couldn’t understand why I was gaining weight because I was in marching band and that’s pretty intense exercise with just practice alone.
    I’ve been told that exercising and just moving in general can lighten your mood, so it’s sort of a win win. I get happier and healthier. ๐Ÿ˜€ ….but then go and eat chocolate. *sigh* The chocolate. ;-;

    • *Hugs back* Thank you! I almost started crying while I was recording and it surprised me. I feel a bit better now. I didn’t completely dread coming to work today. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ The stereotype of a mopey Goth is not what I want to be, that’s for sure. ๐Ÿ˜€

      What medication were you put on, if you don’t mind me asking? Yeah, it sucks when stuff is out of your control. I was in the marching band as well!!! I played the trumpet and I remember spending entire days marching all over parking lots and football fields. Plus, you get upper body strength from holding a heavy instrument up for long periods of time.

      I like to exercise. It always gives me more energy. I like chocolate more though. It’s always a great time for that goodness!

      • That is so great! ๐Ÿ˜€

        I was on so many different ones I don’t think I can remember.
        That’s so cool! I played flute! Half the time I forgot the notes because I was focusing so hard on not passing out. So hard to breathe, march, and play all at once! I was better at playing when I was doing concerts. For the next couple weeks we’ve got band camps out at camp. ๐Ÿ˜€ So I get to be serenaded while working. xD
        I’m so chuck full of energy I cannot sit still for more than five minutes. It’s terrible for my mom when we’re watching horror movies because I’ve got to get up and walk through the house every so often. I love chocolate too much to give it up, so I’ve just been getting really dark chocolate. Hehe. ^.^

      • Flute is way cool. I wanted to play it, but was discouraged by the band teacher since I was a boy and it was a feminine instrument. Nice, huh? I definitely focused on marching more than playing as well. Didn’t want someone else knocking me down out there! Band camp…fond memories.

      • That bites. :/ There was a boy in my class that played flute, he was good too. But when we got into junior high he didn’t resign up for band. I suspect it was because of several of his friends making fun of him for it.
        Band camp was terrible. Almost all of the boys in the percussion section thought it was fun to make inappropriate gestures with my flute or stick their drumsticks in and out of my flute while I wasn’t looking. I would have twisted my flute and broken their drumsticks if I hadn’t been afraid of breaking my own instrument in the process. But it was fun the rest of the time. c:

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