An Explanation


I don’t really know what to say. I can’t believe how much time has passed since my last post. I took a break from blogging for personal reasons and it seems I left for good. I can’t even really say that I’m back for good either. But, I feel like I owe my friends an explanation for my absence. So, I decided to record the video above. The video is raw and very real. I’ve missed my fellow bloggers so much and I haven’t forgotten about any of you. Sometimes I go into a cocoon to protect myself and recharge when horrible, stressful things happen. That may not be a healthy coping mechanism, but it’s how I survive. I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings with all of you, the people I know truly understand me. I feel much better breaking the silence, even if that makes me vulnerable. I hope my honesty makes up for my absence.

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I made a Steampunk top hat in the Spring…super proud of it!

Things aren’t all doom and gloom, though. I wanted to record a fun, spooky video for you guys as well. Last year, Samm Sanity nominated me for the Halloween Tag and I never got around to doing it. Well, I finally did! Watch my struggle with fake nails and sassy mouth below. lol


Don’t forget that orange and black hurr for Halloween, gurl.

I have so many exciting things to share with you all. Just know that I’m always here, whether I post or not. You guys have helped to make this my home and I’ll never forget that. I’ll leave you with an acapella video of me singing a song for a competition I auditioned for over the summer. I didn’t make it into the competition, but I’m just proud of myself for having the balls to audition. And I think I’ll take another crack at this song soon. 😉 Voice lessons are so much fun and have really improved my confidence and vocal range!  Happy Halloween!!!


Impromptu Photo Shoot


2010-12-31 23.00.00-33Did that grab your attention? lol Does a new photo shoot make up for my disappearance from the blog? Probably not, but at least it’s sort of exciting. My birthday was on September 16 and it seems like Summer ended super abruptly. It was barely 40 degrees yesterday! Not even remotely okay. I had a wonderful birthday and received a lot of housewarming gifts, which is awesome. I’ve got all my bathroom accessories now. 😀 I always splurge on myself around my birthday, too. That included buying a $100 pair of adorable cat face creepers and a bunch of stuff from VampireFreaks which I’m modeling in the photo shoot. The fishnet has returned. haha Let’s jump on in!

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Look Number One was a cute gothic style. I’ve wanted bone hair clips for a long time and found some on VampireFreaks. That’s also where the shirt with the creepy kids in the graveyard came from. How freaking cute is that?! I also got the spike choker and neon green bracelet from VF. Am I the only person freaked out by chokers? I’m afraid they will cut off my air supply. XD I actually cut a new hole in the choker to make it looser on my neck. I overcame the fear for the look. lol And then there are my adorable creepers. I have a real white cat at home and I couldn’t resist. I hope I don’t have to relinquish my Goth card now.

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Look Number Two just sort of happened. A bit Cybergoth on the sexy side. I don’t think I’ve ever shown this much skin on here…I suppose I’m growing more comfortable with my body. I’ve never been skinny, I have skin problems and I don’t care. I love fishnet and being edgy, so that’s what I went with here. I hope I didn’t go over the top. But, that’s just who I am.

I had a blast putting these photos together and I’m so glad I made time to take them. I was all set to take the photos in my bare bones new house, but fate had other plans. I still pulled it off I think. Next, I think I’ll post some tags and soon comes my biggest announcement ever. You don’t want to miss it…trust me!

Darkling Tag


Did someone say tag?! My friend Samm Sanity tagged me to do the Darkling Tag and I couldn’t resist. Thanks much girl! Questions about graveyards and how to survive the Summer in black clothes are right up my alley. I even wore a tight top just for everyone’s enjoyment. Loves it.

I tag my good friend and fellow WordPress blogger Izzy and another cool YouTuber named Oriana Bats. I’ll include the questions below in case anyone else wants to give it a go. 😀

1. What is your favorite candle scent?

2.Do you have a favorite book?

3.Are you a tea or coffee person?

4.What is your favorite brand and color of lipstick?

5.What is your favorite perfume/cologne?

6.Do you have a celebrity crush?

7.If you had to give up the color black, what color would you choose instead?

8.If you could change your name to a stereotypical 90s/2000s gothy name, what would it be?

9.What are your top three tips for surviving hot weather while black clad?

10.What song will always make you happy (doesn’t have to be a goth band)?

11.Are you active in the arts (ex. Play an instrument, paint, write, etc)?

12.If you had a teacup or mug made inscribed just for you, what would you have it say?

13.What is your number one non-gothy hobby?

14.If you could be a supernatural creature, what would it be & why?

15.What horror monster-based super power would you have?

16.Do you feel confident or comfortable interacting with other Goths or gothy people (online or IRL)? Why or why not?

17. Which is more important for a look: Great hair or great makeup?

18.Is there something you wish there was more of in your subculture?

19.Care to share an embarrassing story related to your “darkliness“?

20.How are you at DIY?

Quickly describe your ideal wedding.

Confessional (aka True or False):
I love watching cheesy romance films.

I ALWAYS remember to wash off my makeup at night.

I sleep with plushies.

I wear non-black pajamas most nights.

I still listen to a boy band that had disbanded years ago.

I think Andrew Eldritch is overrated.

I don’t like vampires.

I don’t like clubs.

I’m dating a goth/darkly-inclined person.

I don’t enjoy graveyards.

Blood makes me queasy.

I’d sooner faint than pet a spider.

I don’t like haunted houses.

I still browse Hot Topic’s clearance racks.

I’ve never read Dracula.

I think “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” is a long & boring song.



I did almost nothing but discover and listen to 80’s synthpop music yesterday. It was a very enjoyable experience. During my exploration, I came across a very eerie song and music video by the Australian band Icehouse entitled “Icehouse”. The name alone caught my attention. There are haunting, unsettling parts of this song and also poppy components. As the title suggests, “Icehouse” is a cold, synth-filled love song of sorts. A girl is waiting for love that will most likely never come. As long as she stays within the Icehouse, love cannot find her. That is so hopelessly sad, yet beautiful.

The music video is a depiction of a little girl’s nightmare. It reminds me of both the movie Nightmare on Elm Street and Michael Jackson’s iconic “Thriller” music video. However, Icehouse came out before both of these in 1981, believe it or not. I really think that it was groundbreaking and a grossly underrated music video. I’m genuinely scared by the “Icehouse” video, but it’s not gory or done in bad taste like some 80’s horror films. There is fire, hands reaching up through the water, many strange people trying to grab the little girl (including a very creepy old woman in a rocking chair), and a huge white cube made of white neon tubes of light. The nightmare never seems to end.

Perhaps most fascinating to me is the backstory behind the “Icehouse” song. I don’t know whether this is true or not, but I read that in Australia icehouse means the same thing as insane asylum. Obviously, that makes me like the song even more. Iva Davies, the lovely lead singer/songwriter of the band, wrote the song about his time living in a flat in an old two-story mansion that was always cold no matter what he did. Being in his early twenties and a musician to boot, he kept late hours. Sounds a lot like me. I always feel more creative at night. Anyways, the dilapidated house across the street always had its lights on, even in the dead of night. People would come and go at all times and never stayed long. Apparently it was a half-way house for psychiatric patients and drug addicts. Hence, “Icehouse” was born. Iva is a genius.

Another fun tidbit is that the band started out with the name Flowers, but changed their name to Icehouse after the release of their first album, also called Icehouse. Everything comes full circle. I love their choice. The name is warm and cold at the same time, which suits the band’s sound perfectly.

Have a synthpop-filled day everyone!

New Video: Corsets and Crossbones


I’m really on a roll with making videos! In this one, I read my creepy short story “Corsets and Crossbones” while wearing my Poe shirt. I thought it was fitting.

As I appear to be on a video kick, I wanted to ask you guys if you like them? Are they entertaining? I’m definitely still going to write legitimate blog posts moving forward, but I’m really having fun with the videos as well. You can now see how crazy I actually am!

Until next time,


The Eerie Witch


Eerie shadows moved among the dark trees, frightening and inhuman. A small boy sat alone, weeping on the damp earth, forgotten by the cruel world he didn’t identify with. His clothes were covered in mud and wet leaves and dark hair covered his face, yet his two brilliant emerald eyes shone through the darkness.

Suddenly, a luminous creature crept sluggishly out from behind a nearby rose bush. The creature seemed to resemble a tiny cat, yet had the face of a witch. And this creature was quite transparent, the moist leaves on the ground showing through its fur.

The young boy pushed his jet black hair from his wet, gleaming eyes and stared, bewitched, at the oddity in front of him. The creature looked back at the boy, its striking blue eyes transfixed on the boy’s narrow, pallid face. Forever this mutual appreciation seemed to continue, until the creature began moving slowly toward the timid boy once again.

Fearful, the boy began to crawl backwards away from the bizarre being, but got stuck in some low-hanging branches. The creature picked up speed and quickly approached the boy, moving faster across the wet land. The boy desperately tried to free his damp clothes from the branches, but it almost seemed like the branches were holding him in place, much like human hands would. He knew that he could not escape.

A scream issued from the boy’s mouth as the creature reached out a paw as if to touch his face, but this scream was swallowed by the black night. Once the paw touched the boy’s cheek, something mystifying happened.

The creature began to grow larger, its fur disappearing as well as its other feline features. A haze of smoke shrouded the creature and then, out of the mist, walked a young and creepy witch, with the same face the creature had.

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The young boy gazed in amazement into the sparkling blue eyes of the witch, whose ice blonde hair fell in long wisps across her face. She was dressed peculiarly in a long, translucent gown with a rather intricate design. The witch’s hair trailed the ground and drops of dew clung to it, as well as small stones the color of the nearby lake.

As she leaned over the boy, the witch’s long hair fell onto his lap and he could see fireflies dancing amongst the dew and stones.

At last, the witch said, “I do not judge, nor harm. You are safe here. What is your name?”

The boy replied, “I’m Kivi. I live in the small cottage across the lake. But who are you?”

“Oh, I know, child,” said the witch. “I have been watching you for a long time indeed. And who am I, you ask? Well, that shall remain a mystery.”

Nervously, Kivi said, “I thought I felt someone’s presence when I was by the lake the last few nights. What do you want from me?”

The witch smiled and replied, “I have witnessed your pain. I know the hurt you feel inside and I am here to help.”

“I’m fine,” shouted Kivi. “Nothing is wrong with me.”

“Oh, I think you are mistaken,” said the witch, dreamily. “I see you crying here among the trees often. And I know why. You needn’t deny your feelings.”

“Why?” asked Kivi.

“Because they are real and important and part of something bigger,” stated the witch. “You are meant for more than you know. But, you must have faith in who you are to get where you want to go. This cruel and harsh world will try to break you and force you to surrender, but you must not allow it to. You are special and a very valuable part of this beautiful reality. Be yourself and everything will fall into its rightful place.”

And with that, the eerie witch disappeared into another cloud of mist.

Kivi sat in silence for quite some time, mulling over what the witch had told him. He knew what he had wanted, but never dreamed it could become reality. But now, Kivi felt strong and was ready to create his own universe. And as he left the forest that mysterious night, Kivi sang through the darkness and made his voice be heard to not only the animals nearby, but to everyone that had ever doubted his abilities and questioned his dreams.


I wrote this story a long time ago. It was inspired by Natalie Shau’s beautiful artwork above and the ever-inspirational singer Kerli. I was suicidal when I wrote it. It’s weird to think back to that time, but it also shows me how far I’m come since then. I’ll never be that lonely boy again. 🙂

I have also been nominated for the Shine On award by the always lovely and zany Izcentric! This award reminds me of that Rihanna song “Diamonds”. 😉

Shine On AwardI’ll be leaving tomorrow on a much needed vacation from work and life in general. I’m looking forward to being surrounded by nature and inspiration galore. I love disconnecting from technology sometimes. I promise I’ll return. 🙂 I wanted to ask before I go: Do you guys have any ideas for future blog posts? Anything you want to see? I’m up for trying new stuff, especially if it gets me out of my comfort zone. I’m crazy like that. 😉