Biting Off More Than I Can Chew

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Hi friends! This past month has been a huge growth period for me. Some really awesome things have come about and I want to share them with you all. Of course, one really bad thing happened, too. Can’t have the light without the dark.

I got a promotion to full time at my day job earlier this month. I’m now a Clinical Records Assistant, which is such a fancy title. Basically, I maintain charts for mental health clients and serve as back-up receptionist. Who am I kidding…most of our clients still come to me. lol I got a slight raise as well, but it’s a nonprofit agency so I’m not rolling in the dough. I now work the day shift, so I’ve had to adapt from working afternoons. This is not easy for someone nocturnal like me. I’m exhausted, but happy. There is less stress usually because I don’t have to constantly answer the phone or resolve client concerns. I still have plenty of work to do though and that keeps me busy.

I am now also the Music Editor for Carpe Nocturne. Anyone that knows me knows that music is my number one love. I’m very honored and excited to begin this role. I’ll have quite a bit more responsibility, so I’ll need to step my game up. I’ve been a writer for the magazine for less than a year and I’ve learned tons and honed my writing/research skills during that time. I really never thought I’d ever be a part of something this epic. I aim to make you proud, Michael. Thank you for believing in me and boosting my confidence. 😀

Work finally began on the floors in my new house. When the workers ripped up the rotten wood, they found a bit of asbestos wrapped around a pipe in the kitchen and some in the bathroom as well. Luckily, it was a quick fix and the asbestos has been removed. The workers also discovered that the walls of the house were being held up by cinder blocks. :/ I’ve found that pretty much everything in the house wasn’t done correctly. We ripped out the tub surround in the bathroom and found a beautiful cast iron bathtub underneath covered in glue. The previous owners were stupid. I’ve started picking out my laminate wood flooring, tile, bathroom fixtures and vanity, etc. There’s so much to think about. I was in Home Depot and Lowe’s for about four hours and didn’t even accomplish much. lol Will I be moved in by Halloween? I damn sure better be. 😉

Earlier today, I passed my first kidney stone. That was quite an adventure I never want to experience again. I was abruptly awoken this morning with excruciating pain in my lower flank. I’ve never felt pain like that before. And it wouldn’t stop. I kind of thought it might be a kidney stone, even though I’d never had one before. So, my parents rushed me to the doctor, where he thought it was a kidney stone as well. He gave me a urine hat to collect the stone once it passed and it did not long after I got home, thankfully. We think I wasn’t drinking enough fluids/too much Coke. Needless to say, I’m virtually cutting out soda moving forward. The tears are real, but my health is all I have.

The worst news of all happened a week ago. My sister abruptly left home and moved in with a guy she had only known for a couple of days. My sister is 22 and has never lived on her own before, plus she’s very immature for her age. My whole family is in distress. My sister refuses to come home and is saying we are all horrible people. She brought cops to our home to collect her belongings, which was completely unnecessary and embarrassing. This guy and his mom are having my sister do all kinds of work around their house and drive them around, when she can barely drive. The situation is insane and my family knows these people are manipulating and taking advantage of my sister. The police say there is nothing they can do. I just want my sister to come home. She is not well and we can get her help.

It’s beyond difficult to focus on anything with my sister and family in crisis. I have to remember that she’s an adult. I can’t help but fight to save her. There have been many sleepless nights. I think I should do something for myself. It’s been a long time since my last photo shoot. Maybe that’s what I’ll plan next. Escape into fantasy for a bit. Reality is too much sometimes.

I’ll leave off with a new song from Swedish electronica group Ashbury Heights. Their progression is really fun to follow through the looking glass.

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Pity Party

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Sometimes I feel like no one even reads my blog anymore. I suppose I can’t expect much, since I don’t post regular content. Yet, my WordPress friends seem to have disappeared. I have 154 followers and only hear from one or two of you guys. Is it me? Does my content suck? Have I changed too much? These are questions I would love to get some answers to. Please talk to me!

I love writing about music, but I do that for the magazine now. I honestly don’t feel like doing it here as well. I’ve also been thinking about my anonymity lately. My alter ego Asylum Attendant is growing all the time. Carpe Nocturne has thousands of readers who could look me up. People in my real life are starting to find out about my artist name and might even be reading this blog. All it takes is a Google search. I secretly always wanted that to happen so that I could be completely honest about myself. The sad reality is that not everyone will understand what I do here. I’m too out there for some people. I just hope I’m not judged too harshly. There’s no going back from the new world I’ve created for myself.

On the magazine end, I love sharing all of the exciting things I’m working on with you guys. Unfortunately, there are spies from competitors out there. I wish I was joking. Coincidences only go so far. While it will be hard for me to keep things under wraps, that is what I have to do moving forward. I work way too hard to have my ideas or the ideas of any of our other writers stolen. I can say that Carpe Nocturne will be debuting a new poetry column next month. Teatime, anyone? 😉

Work on my new house has been exhausting. Yesterday, I moved a bunch of furniture out to the garage and ripped up carpet in preparation for the floor renovation. I am so sore. We found hardwood floors under the carpet covered in mold. What a waste! Sadly, work on the floors will not begin until August 11. I’m hoping that the company’s schedule opens up and they can get started early. Because nothing else can be done until the floors are finished. My family and I made a shocking discovery when we started to rip up the carpet in one of the bedrooms. My deceased uncle had stashed a large sum of money under the carpet. While disturbing, it’s actually a good thing. Firstly, it proves that he wasn’t robbed, which was everyone’s worst fear. Secondly, my uncle was very distrusting of banks and kept large sums of money on his person for that reason. We were on the lookout for stacks of cash at his house because he was known to hide money in random places. My mom is very happy because the money will pay for my uncle’s headstone.

DIY gone wrong

DIY gone wrong

Floor 2

It’s almost vacation time! I’ll be heading to Lake Michigan for the first time in three years after the Fourth of July. I can’t wait for some rest and relaxation on a bluff overlooking the blue water. Seriously, Lake Michigan is just as beautiful as any ocean. I didn’t get a vacation at all last Summer thanks to the massive flood in my basement. So, this is a well deserved holiday. Who’s idea was it for people to have to work in the Summer anyway? I was also really hoping to go to Toronto for the first time in August, but my plans just didn’t work out. It would have been one of the most epic things I’ve ever done. Alas, there’s always next year.

My romantic life is just as confusing as ever. I love it when people from my past try to come back into my life. I don’t want to make the same mistakes again. When another person finally starts opening up, it’s difficult just to shrug them off. I know that nothing good will come of any kind of relationship with this person. But, I’m lonely. Luckily, I have the control and I think I’m strong enough to avoid them. So damn complicated.

I’ll end with a new song from indie artist Melanie Martinez. She has a Carrie moment and sets fire to her own birthday party when none of her friends show up. Melanie is all kinds of crazy and I can’t get enough. I would attend her pity party.

Happy Summer everyone!