Band Tag


I have been tagged by the lovely Samm Sanity to do the Band Tag. Thank you so much! Check out her blog Blood, Lace and Faeries if you enjoy epic gothic fashion, badass DIYs, enthralling works of writing and personal stories. On to the questions:

1.) Top 3 favorite bands?

Depeche Mode, The Birthday Massacre, Panic! at the Disco

2.) Top 3 band member crushes?

Brendon Urie (P!ATD) – I’ve been obsessed with him since I was 15.

Adam Levine

Pete Wentz

I never really got into Fall Out Boy or Maroon 5, but that doesn’t stop me from crushing on their band members!

3.) Favorite song?

Right now, “Photographic” by Depeche Mode. I’m just getting into their earliest work, which is much lighter than the rest of their albums. I’ve fallen in love with any bands former Depeche member Vince Clarke has touched (Yazoo and Erasure). His synth work is just so damn unique!

4.) Song that makes you sad?

“You’re Not Alone” by Saosin. I don’t know that the song makes me sad, but I end up listening to it when I’m sad. I’ve cried many tears listening to it.

5.) Favorite song lyric?

“I’m not going down on my knees begging you to adore me” – Shake the Disease by Depeche Mode.

I’ve done this before and it’s not a cute look.

6.) Band member I don’t dislike?

I don’t dislike band members. I did when I was a teen. I didn’t like the lead singer of Boys Like Girls because he was an attention whore. ūüôā And the other band members were way hotter.

I’m tagging whoever wants to do this. Yes, I’m a lazy bitch.

In other news, I’m going to film a birthday haul video showing what I got very soon. I’m only two weeks late since my birthday was on September 16…though anyone who knows me knows I procrastinate a ton. I’m also going to include some of the stuff I bought for myself while on vacation in Frankenmuth. I finally got to go on vacation and had a blast spending loads of money. I wish I could film more videos, but my family is loud as fuck and I don’t have a space to film in. Maybe I should start doing outdoors/party in my car videos? I know you guys want to see me drive around. lol


Anyways, I hope to see some of you do the Band Tag!

Top 13 Albums of 2013


Happy New Year all! Last year I did a post on my favorite songs of the year. This time around I’m sharing my favorite albums of 2013. We have a lot to cover, so let’s jump in!

13.) Jewel РGreatest Hits

I know I’ve done a whole post on Jewel, but I have to mention her again. This album exemplifies all that is perfect about Jewel. From her folk roots to her country present and some pop goodness in between. Her updated duets with Kelly Clarkson on “Foolish Games” and Pistol Annies on “You Were Meant For Me” are extra powerful. I recommend this to first time Jewel listeners and long-time fans.

Jewel Greatest Hits

12.) Millionaires РTonight

Filthy, silly, and fun, Millionaires know how to party. This album could disgust some with its sexually explicit lyrics. You have to be familiar with these girls’ previous work, though. This is tame for them. Trust me. Their electropop rap music is meant to be played on a night out to the club. I love singing to this album in my car. I especially enjoy the song “Drinks On Me” which is all about alcohol. Pour me another shot, girls.

11.) Blood On The Dance Floor РBad Blood

Definitely my venting album.¬†Bad Blood¬†is a great record to blast when you’re pissed at the world or having a bad day. Sometimes I partake in screaming offensive song lyrics as loud as possible out my car windows. BOTDF always delivers. The hard electronic beats and hardcore lyrics are pretty epic. A negative is when the pair try to be inspirational. Excuse me, but calling someone a basic bitch and then trying to positively influence fans doesn’t work for me. Other than that, this is a solid brutal electronic album.

bad blood

10.) Lorde РPure Heroine

With a fresh sound and a badass artist name, Lorde has mixed reviews, it seems. I think she’s wonderful.¬†Pure Heroine¬†tells an ordinary story in a novel way. The electronic instrumentation is simple, allowing the listener to interpret the lyrics. Not an album one would expect from a teenager. “Royals” was just so unique to anything else on the radio. None of the other big female names in pop music are singing about the things that Lorde is. Intelligence has nothing to do with age. Give Lorde a try.

9.) Ayria РPlastic Makes Perfect

Industrial dance pop starlet Ayria is virtually unknown to a mainstream audience. Her music is exactly what I would want to jam to in a Goth club. It’s got the perfect mix of pop melody, edgy lyrics, and a darker dance sound. In fact, when I fantasize about being a singer, I would want to be like Ayria. Normal enough to attract an audience, but different enough to stand out. Plastic Makes Perfect¬†is a gothy taste for a typical pop fan.

Ayria Plastic Makes Perfect

8.) Krewella РGet Wet 

Euphoric EDM music embracing love and freedom. Some of you may remember my obsession with their song “Alive” about a year ago. It’s still my mantra, but the rest of this album is equally inspirational. I’m critical of dance music because I love it. These girls and guy take me to another dimension with their crazy beats and epic message of living in the moment. I also really appreciate their presence in a genre dominated by male DJs. A Krewella rave is exactly where I want to be.

7.) Britt Nicole РGold

I listen to Christian music. Shocked? Yeah, me too. That’s how good Britt Nicole’s music is. Dubstep, rap, and ballads all appear on¬†Gold.¬†I really love the mix of EDM and uplifting lyrics. This album is just a super positive soundscape all around. Britt could be a huge pop star, but she’s chosen to stay true to her Christian roots and that’s admirable. I will never be a religious person, but Britt and I have the same mission: spread love and light. She’s inspiring a lot of kids and I can’t wait to see what she does next.

6.)¬†Skylar Grey – Don’t Look Down

Skylar is a smart girl and a brilliant songwriter. I looked forward to this album for a long time. I didn’t even need to listen to it to know it would be amazing. Her previous work had already convinced me of her talent. Skylar goes against the pop star grain. Her song “Religion” reminds me of Alanis’ “Ironic” in the lyrics and vocal styling used.¬†Don’t Look Down¬†is a no bullshit pop album with bite. Skylar is an underrated gem and that needs to change.

SkylarGrey-DONT LOOK DOWN-Artwork

5.) Charli XCX РTrue Romance

This album contains many things I love: dark synthpop, dramatic lyrics, and rapper Brooke Candy. The title,¬†True Romance, is fitting as this album explores all aspects of love. The standout track “You – Ha Ha Ha” is a catchy break-up song, while “Take My Hand” describes getting high on love. There is a perfect balance between mainstream appeal and a novel sound. “Deep in black roses, dateless doses”…Charli makes my gothy heart sing! Oh, and the album cover is drop dead gorgeous. Charli’s rad fashion sense would stop me in my tracks if I saw it in a store.

True Romance

4.) Natalia Kills РTrouble

Natalia Kills, the Queen of Dark Pop, returned this year with her second album¬†Trouble.¬†She explores some pretty dark themes, like a broken childhood on the gorgeous song “Saturday Night” and the dangerous influence of the media on “Television”. The awesome thing about Natalia is she will have you singing and dancing to disturbing stuff when you stop to think about it. Her songs are like mini dramas that could easily unfold on film. The Alice in Wonderland inspired “Rabbit Hole” about teenage sex takes me back to the song “Wonderland”, my favorite from her first album. Who doesn’t want to sing about screwing like rabbits? lol

3.) Britney Spears РBritney Jean

Britney Jean¬†feels different from a typical Britney album. At the same time, it’s definitely a Britney album. It’s sexy, catchy, danceable, and a bit personal. Or, at least as personal as can be expected for Britney. The songs “Alien”, “Perfume”, and “Passenger” come from a genuine place. They feel real. Fear of infidelity, surrendering control in a relationship, and feeling like an outcast are all universal experiences. Fierce “Work Bitch” Britney is great and that fills the other half of the album. “Til It’s Gone” has that David Guetta dance sound I adore, making it my favorite on the album. This is definitely some of Britney’s best work. Bitch worked. Hard.

2.) Panic! At The Disco РToo Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die

Synthpop heavy and filled with theatrics, I feel like this newest album from P!ATD is inspired by Depeche Mode. And I fucking love it. The distorted vocals fit nicely with the dance beat backdrop. The haunting “Far Too Young To Die” conjures up images of a dreary day walking alone in the city. It’s a lonely and desperate song, but it’s beautiful. “Nicotine” equates bad love to an addiction and “Girls/Girls/Boys” discusses the confusion that comes with love. The lyrics of the album are strange at times, but that’s typical Panic! style. I really like the direction the band took with this album. It’s exciting when artists you’ve loved for a long time switch it up.

1.) Demi Lovato РDemi

I would have never guessed this album as my favorite of the year. I bought it on a whim and I don’t have any of Demi’s other CDs. I heard her first single off it, called “Heart Attack”, got obsessed with it, and thought the album might be equally amazing. I was blown away. Every single song is spot on amazing and relevant to my life. This is a pop album through and through. I get bored with music quickly, but I probably played this album for a month straight in my car.¬†Demi¬†is a Summer album for sure. It’s full of energy, light, and is super easy and tempting to sing along to. “Neon Lights” is a rad dance track I naturally gravitated to. Slow songs like “In Case” and “Shouldn’t Come Back” are heartbreakingly sincere. Demi is a tremendous vocalist and very honest in her music and life. Unlike some other Disney stars, she was absolutely born to sing. Albums rarely entrance and inspire me. This does both. Thank you for sharing your remarkable journey, Demi.

Whew! Those were my picks. I had such a hard time placing these albums with numbers. They all feel like my children, so how can one be better than the next?! haha

I know I’m beyond terrible at posting here, but I’m looking forward to a great 2014. This is going to be the year of elevation and hard work. I don’t know what to expect and that’s really fun! This is just the beginning for Asylum Attendant. I haven’t even opened the asylum doors yet…;)

Lots of love,


Teenage Music


I’ve been thinking about my teenage years lately. I went through a lot of changes during that time. I’m going through some big changes now, so that could be why I’m nostalgic. My music taste then and now is different but the same. I thought it would be fun to share some music and stories from that period of my life. I won’t lie: most of my teen years were horrible. Music helped me through the shit times. That’s why I relate to musicians I’ve never met more than people I know in real life. They were my friends when I didn’t have any. I feel so lame saying that, but it’s totally true. Let’s take a visit to the past…

Rihanna – Umbrella

I decided to start with a song that represented a huge transition in my life. “Umbrella” came out during the last few months of my Senior year of high school. That was a really scary, exciting time. I wanted to leave that terrible school behind, but I was going out into the unknown. So, I was happy and a bit sad. I think “Umbrella” represents those mixed emotions. The lyrics are kind of melancholy, but the message is positive. I knew I would get through the transition when I listened to this song. I remember learning the dance moves from this video and obsessively trying to find an umbrella from Rihanna’s line. I really liked Rihanna before this song, but I fell in love with her after it came out. “Umbrella” was my personal graduation theme song.

Lil’ Kim – Lighters Up

I liked rap a lot more as a teen than I do now. It dominated the radio and I liked how unfiltered it was. I wanted to shed my innocence and be rebellious. I also had a Lil’ Kim obsession. “Lighters Up” just made me laugh. I know it’s not meant to be funny, but the lyrics were so shocking that I couldn’t help it. I was stupid and young. Good times were had with this gem.¬†The TV show¬†Lil’ Kim: Countdown to Lockdown¬†also greatly inspired me. ūüėõ

Megan McCauley – Reverie

This song represents my darker teenage years. It’s as if Megan took all the pain I was feeling and put it into “Reverie”. I can’t even explain how much this song has got me through. I cry almost every time I listen to it. I think that having songs like this to listen to when I was suicidal saved me. It made me feel understood and justified for feeling the way I did. I wasn’t alone. Megan is really special and I don’t know what happened to her. She only released the one album, which is such a shame. There’s a rumor floating around that she died, which I really hope is untrue. Her music will always stay with me.

Operator Please – Leave It Alone

These kids were rad as hell. I discovered them on this world music TV channel (International Music Feed) which was the BOMB. Of course, they got rid of it, but almost all of the music I listened to at that time I found on that channel. What I loved most about Operator Please was how unique they were. All of them were quite young, but super talented. I loved the addition of violin to the band. That’s probably because I had just discovered Emilie Autumn at the time as well. I had a crush on band member Ashley, too. And tried to look like him. That happened a lot with all the bands I liked as a teen. I thought all the guys were hot and I copied their style. It makes me sound like a poser, which I kind of was. What can you do.

T.I. – What You Know

I didn’t necessarily love this song. But, I love the memories associated with it. I remember driving around all the time with my older brother blasting this song. It was so simple, but so damn fun. We’ve always related to each other through music because we don’t have anything else in common. He’s a super masculine, sports fanatic and I’m not. But, we both love music. And speeding around together in a Monte Carlo playing it loud is best. I remember the feeling of freedom and escape. Sometimes we would sneak out late at night to drive places without our parent’s permission and that thrill was amazing. Innocent fun. I miss it!

Panic! At The Disco – I Write Sins Not Tragedies

This could sound crazy, but I feel like this music video and this band profoundly effected my teenage years. I didn’t just like the video for “I Write Sins Not Tragedies”. It captivated me. I recall seeing it on TV for the first time and realizing that it was okay to start being myself. I saw theatrics, fantasy, and guys with long hair and makeup. The video opened up an entirely new lifestyle to me. I grew my hair long and started dressing the way I wanted. I finally started to show my femininity to the world instead of hiding it away. I embraced being an individual. They were just tiny steps towards the confident, honest person I am today, but they were huge at the time. I listened to Panic!’s first album to shreds. These guys were my heroes. I think they’ll always be my favorite band because of how much their music and visuals helped me. As an artist, I want to create stuff like they have. Such a huge inspiration for me.

These other songs don’t really have stories, but I wanted to include them, too:

Boys Like Girls – The Great Escape

The Veronicas – Untouched

Beyonce – Irreplaceable

Lady Gaga – Poker Face

Bonus: Random pics of me as a teen. Yeah…

Teenager 2

Why so angsty?! lol

18. Dyed my hair black for the first time.

18. Dyed my hair black for the first time.